Protector
by jamielordofgingers
Summary: "So let me get this straight. Stein. Self-admitted maniac, a man with the very vaguest doctorate and a fetish for dissection, who used to experiment on you whilst you slept and who could snap and fall into complete madness at any time. This is the man you've chosen to be Maka's Godfather." "Would you believe that I have a really good reason?"


Protector: A Soul Eater Fanfic

**AN:** I posted this theory on the Soul Eater Wild Mass Guessing page on TV Tropes a while ago. Thought it was about time to back it up with a Fanfic.

* * *

One would think that, even as the newest Death Scythe to join the ranks of a very elite group related to the Grim Reaper himself, Spirit Albarn would command a certain amount of respect. And whilst yes, he was able to bag himself the occasional free coffee if the owner wasn't a hard-arse cheapskate and the flaunting of said title made for an excellent pick-up line in every bar in town, all of this was completely lost on the woman currently beating him half to death with a dictionary. A final heavy 'thunk!' of hardback meeting skull and his wife collapsed back into a chair, him panting heavily and her with not one hair out of place despite the altercation that had turned the living room upside down. Placing her instrument of punishment on a small chairside table, the Meister known simply to all as Kami lent forward, steepling her fingers in front of her mouth and glaring down at him.

"So let me get this straight. Stein. Self-admitted maniac, a man with the very vaguest doctorate and a fetish for dissection, who used to experiment on you whilst you slept and who could snap and fall into complete madness at any time. This is the man you've chosen to be Maka's Godfather."

"Would you believe that I have a really good reason?"

"Not really. But go on; let's hear what you've come up with this time."

"Okay, okay, just don't hit me again."

"I make no promises."

"Well, it all started the other day when I took Maka to the park."

* * *

Frankly, he couldn't have picked a better day to take Maka outside to one of Death City's parks. The sky was clear and the sun was bearing down, but not uncomfortably so, even if the grin was a little off-putting. He'd managed to find a couple of his old childhood novels to read to her, as well as couple of comic books for himself.

"Comic books?"

"They're educational, I swear to Shinigami."

* * *

Spirit promptly held up one of said books, depicting a pair of characters, Lord Death and the Kishin Asura, both drawn in a cutesy, newspaper comic style. Asura was laying down face first, looking rather irritated as the Grim Reaper stood posing triumphantly over him, flashing a peace sign with one oversized hand. There was a brief pause.

"Continue."

"Anyway…"

* * *

Things had been going great so far. Books had been read, ice cream had been eaten, ducks had been fed and now father and daughter were lying on a hill, Spirit pointing out shapes and Maka giggling. After making note of a bunny (okay, it looked nothing like one, but like a baby was going to know any better), the redhead caught sight of something more interesting. The glint of a scalpel and the subtle swoosh of a lab coat. Holding onto Maka with one hand, keeping her safely held on his stomach, the Death Scythe sat up to get a better look at… yup, that was definitely Stein, stalking his way to a nearby treeline. Spirit gave a hefty sigh, and placed Maka back into her pram.

"I should probably see what he's doing and put a stop to it. Not that it's really my job anymore."

Because really, would you let Franken Stein of all people run about a public park unsupervised? All those animals, plants and people to experiment on, it'd be stupid not to follow him. Spirit promptly did so, wheeling Maka in front of him, who was quite enjoying how fast daddy was going all of a sudden. It didn't last long, as Spirit found Stein frozen next to a large tree, jaw working up and down quickly as he muttered to himself. Taking a breath, Spirit began to walk over.

"Hello Spirit."

Well, there went his courage. Stein hadn't even moved from his spot, still gazing up at the branches with cold eyes. Spirit gave another breath and went to speak.

"You aren't as subtle as you believe yourself to be. I heard you the whole way over here. So," Stein slowly turned with a flat expression, eyes flitting down to look at the pram.

"Playing the dutiful father are we?"

He took a few steps over as Spirit tried to regain his composer, swinging his head down to look at Maka. After a few seconds, he swung back up with a sigh.

"Yes, yes, I'm a scary man."

Spirit moved back to look at Maka, who seemed no worse for wear other than a slight frown marring her features. Sighing in relief, he turned back to Stein.

"So…um…how you been?"

Stein cocked an eyebrow.

"Really?"

Any potential awkward conversation was suddenly cut short by a series of explosions around the two men, replacing their senses with nothing but white noise and blinding pain. Spirit felt a sharp blow to the back of his head that sent him tumbling to the ground. Vision slowly returning, he staggered to his feet, trying to focus on transforming his arm into weapon form. A second hit sent him down again, this time for long enough that his sight had returned when he managed to pull himself to his feet once more. Not that it helped, as the wooded area was now filled with white, slowly disappearing smoke. A quick glance showed that Stein had vanished, but Maka's pram remained. Praying for the best, Spirit damn near leapt to it, looking inside frantically. He couldn't remember how long he had stood there, head hung over the empty device. Who would gain anything from taking Maka? Whilst his relationship had been the focus of Death City's gossip magazines from start to marriage, even detailing on the pregnancy for a few weeks, this had been a calculated assault, not the act of a crazed fan or paparazzi. One of the smoke grenades lay at his feet, still gently oozing out some of its contents. The daughter of a Death Scythe and a powerful Meister would draw some attention… oh God. What if someone had kidnapped her for ransom, sending back toes and fingers until they got paid? Or sold her to any number of deviants, to be used however they saw fit? Stein had vanished too. What if he had planned this in order to dissect her due to her special nature, or raise her as his own in some kind of sick experiment? He was mad, a generally excepted fact, but to go this far? Spirit's knees went weak as he retched, throwing up his lunch from earlier. Any number of things could be happening to his precious Maka right now… he had to stop it. Slamming his fists down, he hulled himself up and began looking around for clues. There! Footprints, heading away into the woods, from where Stein had been standing.

"That bastard."

Taking off at full sprint and listening for any crying, Spirit began his search. Which lasted all of three seconds when a body went flying past him, crashing into some undergrowth. There was a sharp crack and a shout, followed by the sound of something impacting flesh with great force. Spirit charged forward some more, to find a fight in progress. Stein was standing off against five men armed with guns, one lying on the ground clutching at his broken arm. Maka was cradled in his right arm, the left extended as part of his combat stance. Clearly these men had tried to stop him from completing his plan, but how had a squad in full military gear been roused so… oh.

"Idiot."

Stein spoke softly, glaring at him. The other men turned their heads, and two guns, on him. Spirit threw his hands up.

"What?"

"You were blaming me for this, weren't you?"

"Well… sort of, but considering your history…"

"Shut up!"

One of the armed men barked, interrupting the inevitable argument. He turned his attention back to Stein.

"Now, hand over the baby, or the father gets it." the two men with guns aimed at him moved close to emphasise the point. Spirit gritted his teeth.

"Like hell."

His arm flashed, becoming a scythe blade. The two men fired, but he effortlessly sliced through the bullets, lashing out at…

* * *

"Bullshit. You cannot slice through bullets. No-one in human history has ever sliced through a bullet."

"Honey, you're ruining the story."

"I can see the ending. You beat up the men, Stein handed Maka back and you made a stupid decision due make him the Godfather in an emotional impulse, and for some reason he agreed."

Spirit let out a heavy sigh.

"Okay, true. But can you really think of a better choice? Most of our other friends that could protect her are also Death Scythes, and all over the world to boot, and we sure as hell can't go up to Lord Death and say "hey Shinigami-sama, look after our kid in the case we snuff it?" he's got his own kid to deal with now anyway. Stein's not leaving Death City anytime soon, which means that there'll be loads to people to manage and keep an eye on him, he can easily look after her, maybe teach her some Meister tricks if she decides to follow in our footsteps, and to be honest I think he got a little attached."

His wife folded her arms, leaning back in her chair.

"I still don't like it. What if…"

Any further conversation was cut off by a loud cry. Maka had woken up, and was clearly in distress. The pair headed up her room, quickly trying to calm her down after she proved neither hungry or in need of changing.

"Can you find her dummy?"

"I swear I had it earlier… maybe it got left in the park."

From below, the doorbell rang, Maka being handed over to Spirit as Kami headed downstairs to the front door, grabbing her purse on the way.

"I'll run into town and get her a new one!" She called up as the doorbell rang again.

"Hold your horses… oh. Hello Stein."

"Kami. I trust you've heard the story by now?"

"I have."

"Then this will be less of a surprise."

And with that, Stein placed the dummy into her hand.

"I have taken the precaution of cleaning with super-heated steam to remove any germs, bacteria or viruses that may have transferred to it from the park."

"Right. Thank you."

And with that, the young man walked away, giving the screw in his head a turn as he reached for a cigarette, listening to the door close behind him as he went on his way.

* * *

"This is a terrible idea."

"I think you can do it. Besides, it's only if Kami and I die."

"She will not approve."

"I'll bring her around to the idea. This witch those men were working for may try a more hands-on approach in future, and I want someone to able to help us in a worst case scenario. Anyway, we're friends aren't we? It's not like Maka won't bump into you at least once in her life."

"… I'll think about it."

"Thank you."

* * *

Stein rolled his cigarette around his mouth once, watching the smoke dance in the night-time air.

"This could prove… to be a most interesting experiment."


End file.
